3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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