Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
my being single is dangerous.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize