The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
