'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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