dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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