is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
