I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
