addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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