he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
