What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
