If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize