i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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