i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
