5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
