she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
