Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
