perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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