Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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