You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We have so much sex to catch up on
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
