And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
