I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
