I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
