the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
this hospital has no fireball
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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