i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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