you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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