and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
