I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
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But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
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I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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