I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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