I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
