i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
