I am puke
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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