just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
