I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
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Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
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the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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