Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
