no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
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How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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