just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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