who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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