There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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