I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just found a bag of teeth...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
