There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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