Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Randomize
