I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
