Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
