To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.