he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
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All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
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You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.