my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.