yea but for you.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!