she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.