Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Michael Bay diarrhea
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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