my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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