That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
