Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Perfect. Like where your heads at

  (906): View more from Michigan

  By relax I mean have sex

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  (906): Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow (248): Perfect. Like where your heads at (906) By relax I mean have sex http://tfl.nu/crtd
  Replies (2) Good night (2384) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (132): View more from

  if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder

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  (132): if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder http://tfl.nu/48fa
  Replies (43) Good night (1481) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"

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  (551): Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead (201): NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it" http://tfl.nu/4pzt
  Replies (85) Good night (4949) Bad night (1139)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  he shaved USA in his pubs

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  (806): he shaved USA in his pubs http://tfl.nu/vbz3
  Replies (20) Good night (1825) Bad night (3106)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?

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  (256): Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it? http://tfl.nu/m23f
  Replies (31) Good night (5865) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  didn't feel it. :)

  (217): View more from Illinois

  It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  wait what? so it's not in america?

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  (217): Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning (1-217): didn't feel it. :) (217): It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't. (1-217): wait what? so it's not in america? http://tfl.nu/0q24
  Replies (65) Good night (1241) Bad night (8748)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome

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  (402): I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome http://tfl.nu/kwzn
  Replies (13) Good night (6071) Bad night (972)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.

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  (520): I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again. http://tfl.nu/aob4
  Replies (3) Good night (988) Bad night (3029)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.

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  (610): Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card. http://tfl.nu/uepf
  Replies (12) Good night (4537) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  I have got to meet this girl.

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  (860): she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW (1-860): I have got to meet this girl. http://tfl.nu/ejln
  Replies (7) Good night (2263) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  sounds about right

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  (215): judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend. (609): sounds about right http://tfl.nu/kfa3
  Replies (0) Good night (1334) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too

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  (731): Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too http://tfl.nu/4c0u
  Replies (8) Good night (1322) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.

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  (510): She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL. http://tfl.nu/icp3
  Replies (2) Good night (389) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started

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  (248): I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started http://tfl.nu/udux
  Replies (1) Good night (568) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"

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  (773): yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt" http://tfl.nu/6oli
  Replies (2) Good night (871) Bad night (236)

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