Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped