Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(562): View more from California

glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore

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(480): View more from Arizona

Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?

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(904): View more from Florida

I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me

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(519): View more from Ontario

this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me

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(360): View more from Washington

Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable

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(909): View more from California

I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.

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(310): View more from California

It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.

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