Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..

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  (586): Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away.. http://tfl.nu/t5um
  Replies (22) Good night (3070) Bad night (1201)
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  (707): View more from California

  there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?

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  (707): there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy? http://tfl.nu/j2tm
  Replies (28) Good night (3148) Bad night (760)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'

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  (916): Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon' http://tfl.nu/xx25
  Replies (19) Good night (3621) Bad night (800)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day

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  (978): i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day http://tfl.nu/1bya
  Replies (27) Good night (4110) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work

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  (313): These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work http://tfl.nu/lrs5
  Replies (13) Good night (5155) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.

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  (985): the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag. http://tfl.nu/heag
  Replies (13) Good night (1317) Bad night (4951)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring

  (989): View more from Michigan

  i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me

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  (231): my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring (989): i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me http://tfl.nu/18pl
  Replies (21) Good night (6963) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.

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  (440): Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana. http://tfl.nu/g8b3
  Replies (24) Good night (1971) Bad night (6790)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire

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  (847): I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire http://tfl.nu/ncts
  Replies (10) Good night (5128) Bad night (1671)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??

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  (626): he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that?? http://tfl.nu/9sps
  Replies (26) Good night (1519) Bad night (5953)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music

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  (303): Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music http://tfl.nu/qvs5
  Replies (9) Good night (978) Bad night (3173)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.

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  (814): My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible. http://tfl.nu/fwco
  Replies (4) Good night (1000) Bad night (1498)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday

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  (262): The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday http://tfl.nu/kdkl
  Replies (3) Good night (1350) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick

  (1-714): View more from California

  Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!

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  (714): She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick (1-714): Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/q4sd
  Replies (3) Good night (1550) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.

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  (540): I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave. http://tfl.nu/cws2
  Replies (2) Good night (557) Bad night (302)

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