Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
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he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later