all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
