we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize