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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  god i miss watching you do this...

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.

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  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?

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• (650): View more from California

  Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.

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  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad

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• (409): View more from Texas

  Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.

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