You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".