look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
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I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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