how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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