Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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