Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
either way he was missing a nipple.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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